I was looking back over my postings and realized this did not turn out as I expected! But then most of my life has been as such.
November 2008 I made the choice to take care of myself and as I did I shed 85 pounds. 2010 proved to be much more than I bargained for and slowly added 35 of those lost pounds. Not sure how they found me but they did. None the less, I did change from one person . . . .
to another . . .
Both from the outside to the inside. Along the ways I gained and lost much more than pounds as well. I lost my beloved Pontiac Sunfire in the July 4th flooding . . . I lost two adult children from the home . . . OK . . . I didn't say all I lost was bad! :) I gained insight into who I am . . . what I want from life . . . more importantly . . . who I might want to share this life with.
I met men along the way that helped me arrive to this decision . . . . quite a few of them. There were some who I cannot remember their names and then there are some I can . . . . Michael . . . Joel . . . Robert Z. . . . . Ruben . . . Larry . . . . Adam . . . . Joe . . . Jesse . . . . Ray . . . Rumaldo . . . Harvey . . . Alfred . . . Robby . . . Robert R. . . . . . . . some were nice . . . .
and some were not . . .
and some were somewhere inbetween . . .
All together I was able to arrive at a decision about my life and for that I am grateful for each man. They all had good and bad in them and they all taught me what it is I am willing to tolerate and what it is I am not . . . what I must have in a relationship and what I must not have . . .
Along the way I have moved twice and each move was more than I bargained for but I arrived in a place I can call home. I love the space I have landed in . . . the landlord is not quite what I had hoped for but then nothing in life is ever perfect. If it were all perfect how would we know what to be truly grateful for. I like my home . . . the space . . . my neighbors who leave me alone . . . the privacy . . . my dressing room . . . laundry room . . . the neighborhood . . . close to family . . . . fabulous kitchen layout . . . great water pressure . . . the space . . . . my neighbors who leave me alone . . . . the privacy . . . lol . . . OK . . . I think I made my point! There are some things I do not like . . . the pest problem . . . the drafty windows during the winter . . . window units for air conditioning . . . . but over all it is all good.
I traveled to NH alone to retrieve our belongings from storage. 2,075 miles all by myself! I am woman . . . I am strong . . . I am brave . . . I absolutely CAN do it all alone if I must . . . hear me roar! This only taught me I do not have to wait until I have someone to do anything I want to do. I can play golf by myself . . . I may have to cheat until I can get better at it otherwise it WILL take me all day . . . I can travel to Riodosa and try horse racing all by myself . . . . I have always been OK with dining alone, catching a movie alone, bowling by myself . . . I CAN DO ALL! Who else? Besides, I so much enjoy my own companionship! I will as the saying goes fake it until I make it!
I discovered many new things as well . . . Zumba . . . P90X . . . FaceBook . . . texting . . . OK . . . I didn't say they were all good things!
I allowed many things to cause me to lose focus of what is important but I shall regain that focus . . . I will continue with what I love . . . Zumba . . . dating because when it is with a new man it can be so much fun . . . working at my present place of employment . . . loving the Dallas Cowboys . . . cultivating my relationships which are important to me . . . continue to blossom into the social butterfly I have always been meant to be . . . . laughing . . . . caring for myself . . . . eventually . . . . my life will come all together and I want to be in my best condition I should be and be able to recognize when I am ready for it.